A very close friend of mine, shared with me last week about how she was struggling with some of her best friends. Every time she is around them, the only thing they talked about was people and everyone else’s faults. She said how it just feels like poison in her body after she was around them because of how negative everything was.
Girls, what you talk about, is who you are. If you talk about shallow things, chances are, you are shallow. If all you talk about is other people’s faults, what is that saying about who you are? It screams that you really don’t have much depth. If you are confident in who you are, why can’t you accept who everyone else is?
Just a side note, I used to think this was just a ‘high school’ problem, but I think most of us can agree, that is just not the case. Go to lunch with an old friend, listen to what the people you work with talk about, pay attention to the conversations taking place among the parents at your children’s little league games, and unfortunately, listen to the conversations that are going on in your church. It is still an issue even for grown women. I think it reveals the truth about many of us…
We are insecure.
The way we try to feel better about ourselves…we put everyone else down.
A couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Pat Johns spoke to our CCA ladies about the “Be Attitudes” or “Attitudes we should Be” in Matthew 5.
"God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are gentle and lowly, for the whole earth will belong to them.
God blesses those who are hungry and thirsty for justice, for they will receive it in full.
God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God,
Girls, what you talk about, is who you are. If you talk about shallow things, chances are, you are shallow. If all you talk about is other people’s faults, what is that saying about who you are? It screams that you really don’t have much depth. If you are confident in who you are, why can’t you accept who everyone else is?
Just a side note, I used to think this was just a ‘high school’ problem, but I think most of us can agree, that is just not the case. Go to lunch with an old friend, listen to what the people you work with talk about, pay attention to the conversations taking place among the parents at your children’s little league games, and unfortunately, listen to the conversations that are going on in your church. It is still an issue even for grown women. I think it reveals the truth about many of us…
We are insecure.
The way we try to feel better about ourselves…we put everyone else down.
A couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Pat Johns spoke to our CCA ladies about the “Be Attitudes” or “Attitudes we should Be” in Matthew 5.
"God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are gentle and lowly, for the whole earth will belong to them.
God blesses those who are hungry and thirsty for justice, for they will receive it in full.
God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.”
When we are pointing our other people’s faults or gossiping, we are ignoring every one of these attitudes.
Think back on the last conversation you had that you feel may have been gossiping. Were you being humble when you spoke those things? Meek? Is that an example of you hungering and thirsting after righteousness? Were you showing mercy? Were you being a peacemaker?
The last beatitude (vs 10) talks about us being persecuted because of our pursuit of righteousness. My friend I was telling you about earlier, shared with me how her friends now don’t call her to hang out anymore. She said they rarely even speak to her in public. This is a natural response for the majority of the world. The pursuit of God makes people uncomfortable if they aren’t in that pursuit themselves. In verse 11 & 12 it says:
"God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted, too.”
Instead of grieving for those lost friendships, put that energy into praying for God to send you a mature, godly friend. Pray for those friends to be convicted as well. But more importantly, learn to receive your satisfaction from the most important relationship of all in your life, your relationship with God.
But this doesn’t mean that we are better than those friends we have separated ourselves from, or should we cut ourselves off completely from that relationship. I have known parents that want their children to go to Christian schools, have all Christian friends, they want their families to go to Christian medical doctors, Christian restaurants, and only associate with Christian people in the community. But read on to what verse 13-17 says,
"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world--like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”
I am not condoning that you should run wild with questionable characters, or disobey your parents, but if we live in a cocoon of “Christian” people and places, how is our light shining. It looks more like we are hiding or ‘protecting’ it. We need to let our actions, our character, and the way we treat and love people be the light that points to our Father in Heaven.
So may we start to love people, everywhere, in all walks of life. May we begin to break down the walls of superiority in ourselves and begin to be humble, meek, and begin to hunger and thirst after righteousness, so that our light will be like that shining on a hill.
When we are pointing our other people’s faults or gossiping, we are ignoring every one of these attitudes.
Think back on the last conversation you had that you feel may have been gossiping. Were you being humble when you spoke those things? Meek? Is that an example of you hungering and thirsting after righteousness? Were you showing mercy? Were you being a peacemaker?
The last beatitude (vs 10) talks about us being persecuted because of our pursuit of righteousness. My friend I was telling you about earlier, shared with me how her friends now don’t call her to hang out anymore. She said they rarely even speak to her in public. This is a natural response for the majority of the world. The pursuit of God makes people uncomfortable if they aren’t in that pursuit themselves. In verse 11 & 12 it says:
"God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted, too.”
Instead of grieving for those lost friendships, put that energy into praying for God to send you a mature, godly friend. Pray for those friends to be convicted as well. But more importantly, learn to receive your satisfaction from the most important relationship of all in your life, your relationship with God.
But this doesn’t mean that we are better than those friends we have separated ourselves from, or should we cut ourselves off completely from that relationship. I have known parents that want their children to go to Christian schools, have all Christian friends, they want their families to go to Christian medical doctors, Christian restaurants, and only associate with Christian people in the community. But read on to what verse 13-17 says,
"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world--like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”
I am not condoning that you should run wild with questionable characters, or disobey your parents, but if we live in a cocoon of “Christian” people and places, how is our light shining. It looks more like we are hiding or ‘protecting’ it. We need to let our actions, our character, and the way we treat and love people be the light that points to our Father in Heaven.
So may we start to love people, everywhere, in all walks of life. May we begin to break down the walls of superiority in ourselves and begin to be humble, meek, and begin to hunger and thirst after righteousness, so that our light will be like that shining on a hill.
Caley, I thought your post was awesome and I can relate to many things about it. I love to read what you write so keep it up. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteYou were dead on Caley... starting to think 3 weeks is too long haha
ReplyDeleteTrue. True.
ReplyDeleteWhen Chrissy cheered in Middle School I was shocked at the moms' topics of conversation. They talked about every person they could which only showed, as you said, their own insecurity. I too thought that was stuff we left behind in our immature high school days but just because you are approaching your 20th High School reunion, ahem, that does not mean you are mature.
Good Word Again!!
Thanks Caley for another great word....I love the scripture in Ps.19:14 that says, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my redeemer". There is so much power in the tongue for good or evil...my prayer is that my words and conversation will always be a blessing and not a hinderance to anyone....
ReplyDelete